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Tom, 27, first noticed that his friendships were skewing womanward in college. Friendships between men and women are on the rise in the U.

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He attributed the reported discrepancy to the subjectivity of relationships, and concluded that an equal percentage of men and women have platonic friendships. I attribute the difference to typical male hubris. Greif says that the seeklng of men in platonic friendships with women has likely increased since he published Buddy System.

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The rise of male-female relationships in general has also made way for guys like Tom, whose friends are almost all women. Thus, Hamlett theorized, men save their emotional sharing for their partner, whereas women are more genjine to share their feelings with a network of therapists and friends.

Rather, in my experience, friendships with men can be very symbiotic: They listen well, they know how and when to give advice, and they bring a unique perspective to my grievances. That model is culturally reinforced to the extent that, for a long time, men with mostly female friends were objects of suspicion.

Greif attributes the increase in platonic friendships to more equality in the workplace, and stronger policies and better education surrounding sexual harassment. Friendships between superiors and subordinates are still rare Bel air swingers phone Mad Men times, when bosses were mostly male and women primarily reported to them, platonic friendships at work were even more unlikely.

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Now we expect men to make themselves available to female co-workers as friends and mentors, and vice versa. Several such men tell me that they, like Tom, feel less pressure to perform stoicism for their female friends. In a survey Greif conducted, 80 percent of men said Cool blk guy seeking genuine friendships most of their time with male friends is spent discussing sports.

Greif thinks that men feel more comfortable emotional sharing with women gky children are still mostly socialized by women. One in five children are living with a single motherand these children in particular may find that because their formative relationships were entirely with women, they connect more easily with women as adults.

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Or even when I just want to shoot the shit. Children not raised by single mothers are also more likely to have been socialized mostly by women.

And the National Center for Education Statistics recently reported that 89 percent of fdiendships teachers are women. One year-old man, who has assembled a large cohort of female friends through work, says that when he broke up with his girlfriend recently, he mostly discussed the breakup with his female friends.

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When he tried to talk to other men about it, he found that they were at different levels of emotional literacy: Of his two Cool blk guy seeking genuine friendships friends, he says, one was very receptive to breakup talk, but one became very uncomfortable.

Having a girlfriend made him feel a lot more comfortable cultivating platonic female friendships, because it gave him a built-in barrier against the relationship turning romantic, though he says he often wondered whether his girlfriend thought it was strange that he had so Hot older neighbor female friends.

I'm curious about how I would make a new friend who is a girl. Some of his friendships have grown from situations where one Clol them has tried to hook up with the other, but he says that in those cases the dynamic is now clear, for the most.

Am I flirting with them? Am I worried about that? By Luke Darby. By Megan Gustashaw.